A storm is coming and I am getting ready. I remember a big storm a few years back, before Katrina. My love and I crossed Lake Pontchartrain into New Orleans in a category 4 storm. That was a very scary ride and the flooding at that time was very frightening. This was all before Katrina. After Katrina, we returned to see the city, maybe two years after Katrina, and in St. Bernard Parish in New Orleans, the tree roots were everywhere up through the sidewalks and roads. It was like a scary movie to see.
Greiving has felt dark and uprooting the way St. Bernard Parish made me feel. Now, at this moment, the darkness seems to begin to lift.
Last week's snow storm was a gift from God I suspect. All that snow that was dumped on Big Bear did seem to keep that gunman from doing more harm than he did.
Weather is funny. I remember one snow storm when I could not get home to my love. He burned so much wood in the fireplace until I returned. When I went to my first grief group in town a few weeks back, it started to snow. I was just looking out the window, and I could see the snow clouds just blowing in. It sure made me think of my love. I strained to see the snow falling. They were fleeting moments which I could neither stop nor hold.
Moving through my grief after four years can now handle some laughter and tears. I want and need fewer tears and more laughter.
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