Last night I had the strangest dream (I know that's a line from too many dreams). In my dream, I understood exactly how to prepare to die and go to the next life. I was explaining to someone this epiphany, but as I began to explain, the understanding left me. The explanation of how one can accept mortality and prepare to leave this life we know involved a deep love of God. There was more to it than that, but I could not hold onto the understanding when I went to explain it. What a shame. It's funny that I am struggling with this problem in my dreams. Many of my friends have died over the years, but I never thought too much about the fear of death or my own fears. I'm sitting hear listening to Tom Waits and it's about 2:00 a.m. I can't sleep anymore and the song he is singing is called "Starving in the Belly of a Whale." Well! Death has certainly swallowed me up at this moment. The sun will come up soon and that whale will surely spit me out. I'm going to change the music right now.
Moving through my grief after four years can now handle some laughter and tears. I want and need fewer tears and more laughter.
No comments:
Post a Comment