Thursday, May 2, 2013

Singing my love Into the next life

Many years ago, before I even imagined the new millennium, my love and I went to Australia. This is the place of the "dreamtime." It's hard for me to explain the dreamtime, but I understand it as the Aborigine people of Australia's explanation of creation. There is also the notion of "songlines" or ways that people travel across the land. A part of this idea is that things which happen are connected to specific places. The place where my love died is strangely connected to my family's history (but that is another story). I remember the first time I ever went to that hospital with my love, long before he died, and how I felt very connected to it. Stranger even still, when we met the doctor who would save my love that first time, and then help him transition from this world, I felt as if I knew him. During that first meeting, as stressful as it was, I told my love to ask the doctor where he was from. Sure enough, the doctor was from the same town my love was from (not exactly a town and very very far from where we stood). Years later when my love began to die, I was with him in that very same hospital. I didn't consciously know he was going to die. I still held out hope that he would live, but unconsciously I knew the time was near. Alone with my love in the room, I began to tell him where he was going. I told him his life's story on earth and I began to tell him about all the people who were waiting for him in the next. I knew his life story better than my own and knew all the people who had loved him and had to leave him when they died. It's funny how I knew to do this. Somehow it seemed correct. Not long after this, even though I did not want to, I told him that if he had to go,"Go." Not long after that, he died.
Today I read this statement by Sylvia Brown:
"It's such a shame that we can't convey to people how lucky the are to be going Home and really mean it. Convey the truth: 'You are going Home. Your work is finished. You are graduating.'"  It does feel like I conveyed this to my love at the end. It felt like a "dreamtime." Those were very strange moments at the end. Still, I felt like I was "singing" him into the next world with his story.  There is no knowing if this was true, but who can say.

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